Shut up and kiss me!

“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
 -Albert Einstein


Have you ever wondered why we kiss? What's so freakin' sexy or arousing about it? Why does the simple act of placing your lips onto those of another get us so riled up? Individuals who spend their time studying, researching and musing on kissing, as well as discovering the evolutionary history and anatomy of the act are known as philematologists, and even they have trouble finding answers to some of the questions as to why we do it.

There are all sorts of animals who display acts of affection or care to one another, the one which most closely resembles our own comes from bonobo monkeys, who share 98.7% of our DNA. Baby bonobo monkeys are fed "babybird" style from their mothers, and even as they grow up, bonobo monkeys frequently kiss one another in order to solve conflicts, ease tensions or simply because they want to. It's been suggested that this is how the act came about for humans, as well, with mothers chewing food and then dispensing it into the mouths of their infants just as a mama bird does with her hatchlings.

Some argue that kissing isn't instinctual, that instead it is a learned behavior which isn't known to all individuals who reside on this enormous, wonderful planet (shed a tear for the poor individual who has never experienced such a wonder that is a romantic kiss). While it is reported that 90% of humans kiss, there are certain tribes which don't kiss, and have never done so.

This also helps to explain why we have the ever sensual "French kiss" as well, as mothers would use their tongues to shovel the food out of their mouths. It is known as such within the common vernacular as such today because the French used to be infamous for their risque, adventurous sexual practices back in the day (and before that, it was known as the Florentine kiss). But enough about monkeys and food-swapping, as kissing has evolved into so much more over the past thousands of years.

Something which seems so simple and easily as a kiss to us is actually way more complex than we'd think. Requiring significant muscular coordination which involves a total of 34 facial muscles and 112 postural muscles. Of these, the most important muscle involved is the orbicularis oris muscle, which is responsible for your ability to make a duckface, or just pucker your lips, and is informally known as the "kissing muscle". When you're kissing somebody, it's triggering all sorts of feelings and sensations, as our lips and tongues are packed with nerve endings. These are present even at birth, which is why babies put everything in their mouths, which have more nerve endings than any other part of the body. These sensations that we experience usually don't make one think too hard about why we do it, but instead lead us to seek ways to do it more often. In addition to all of these delicious nerve endings that are present in the lips and on the tongue, our brains release powerful pleasure chemicals when we engage in the act. "Kissing a new partner stimulates dopamine production, which creates a sense of desire and excitement. As people kiss the same partner over time, the brain releases oxytocin instead, which helps to instill a sense of bonding and attachment".

While most people might be satisfied with the explanation that people kiss because it feels good, others still seek better reasons as to not only why we do it, but why it feels so good. The most widely accepted theory today is that we do it because it allows us to sniff out a "quality mate". This theory claims that when we're mackin' on each other, not only are we getting sensory info from each other (taste, sound, and smell), but our pheremones are interacting and exchanging vital biological information which allows us to determine whether or not two people would make strong, healthy babies. "Women, for example, subconsciously prefer the scent of men whose genes for certain immune system proteins are different from their own. This kind of match could yield offspring with stronger immune systems, and better chances for survival." A study which backs this data up was conducted by Claud Wedekind in which women sniffed worn t-shirts of men, indicating which ones they liked, best. Comparing the DNA of the women and men, researchers found

women didn’t just chose their favorite scent randomly. They preferred the scent of man whose major histocompatibility complex (MHC)—a series of genes involved in our immune system—was different from their own. Having a different MHC means less immune overlap and a better chance of healthy, robust offspring. Kissing may be a subtle way for women to assess the immune compatibility of a mate, before she invests too much time and energy in him. Perhaps a bad first kiss means more than first date jitters—it could also mean a real lack of chemistry.

While most forms of affection generally have stress-reducing effects, studies show us that if you increase the frequency of kisses in marital and cohabitating relationships, it results in a reduction of perceived stress, as well as boosted relationship satisfaction and lowered cholesterol levels. When you kiss, it also might stimulate your adrenal glands to release epinephrine and norepinephrine (adrenaline and noradrenaline) into the bloodstream (which causes an adrenaline rush). This, in turn, benefits your cardiovascular system by causing your heart to pump faster. A passionate kiss generally burns up to 2-3 calories per minute.

There was a study done in which researchers questioned 900 people (308 men, 594 women), half of which were in long-term relationships during the time of the study, about their thoughts on kissing, its importance in a relationships, both short- and long-term. Generally, women were more likely to think kissing was an important aspect of a relationship. Those who rated themselves as attractive, as well as people who had more casual or short-term romantic encounters were more likely to put more value and a higher importance on kissing in a relationship. Kissing also appeared to have a varying level of importance depending on whether the relationship was short-term or long-term. In long-term relationships, women thought kissing was more important, and both men and women stated that it was equally important before sex and during non-sexy times.

In short-term relationships, kissing was generally most important before sex, but then decreased in importance afterward (rated less important during sex, even less so after sex, and least important during non-sexy times). It was explained that "men are more likely to initiate kissing before sex, when it might be used for arousal purposed," but that "women are more likely to initiate kissing after sex, where it might better serve a relationship maintenance function... but perhaps the biggest and most useful takeaway from the survey was... that lots of kissing was associated with a satisfying and ultimately healthy long-term relationship."

Hopefully over the next several decades there will be much, much more research done on kissing, but for now I'd feel confident in any assertion that kissing is not on pleasant, emotionally and physically, but is also healthy and beneficial to both yourself and your relationship. Perhaps all of that was already fairly obvious to most of you, but I still like seeing it in writing. Either way, as a good friend of mine once remarked, "love is never wrong!"