So I know most of these articles are about sex and stuff, but I think this blog would suite me better if it were not only about sexy stuff (because duh), but simply about intimacy, passion, pleasure and all of those lovely emotions that are elicited by only that special somebody? I want to write about pleasure, but not only in the sexual sense. Just about the little things (or not so little) in life that make it worth living.
I want to talk about attraction. Not love, or lust, or any of that, but simply the process of being attracted to somebody, and the intricacies involved therein. I'm too lazy to do any real research on this right now, so all of this is just my personal thoughts and musings on the subject. I'm sure I'll come back sometime in the distant future and actually provide some links, but I still remember some things from the psychology books I read on the subject, so I'll just do with that ahora mismo.
I think it's pretty safe to say that heat makes the world go round. The discovery of fire is always provided as a big deal among our ancient ancestors, and the sun is the reason for life at all on the planet as it is. Perhaps one reason love is (and has always been) so unbelievably ingrained in our culture, our society, our lives, is because it is that, metaphorical and literal, fire/heat of the "spirit". The increased heart rate, blood flow, flushed cheeks, whatever biological processes that are responsible for this heating, why? Do we just inherently link warmth and comfort with love, because that's how our bodies feel when we are in love? Nothing drives us as wild as finding somebody who emotionally "sets you on fire". We write songs about it, direct plays and movies, write books, talk incessantly about it, and live our entire lives (maybe) searching for somebody to go through life with.
Though the feeling might be short-lived at times, I think that the initial attraction between two is an important phase in this whole 'relationship story' because it shows that there is potential between two individuals (especially if both people are passionate). I know this is something that happens all the time with young romances, which have a bad rep because these people think they're "omg so in love" when they've never really experienced these intense emotions and feelings before, so they can't adequately judge for themselves how they feel. That being said, I think that's more the fault of inexperience and impatience on the individual's part. Sure, you can say it's love, but I think lust fits better, and not just in that sexual sense (because hot damn that booty), but also in a companion, togetherness sense. Having somebody to simply be there and connect with you on a level that nobody else does, to bring you joy and pleasure and receive your affections, as well. Everybody wants to be loved because, among other things, we crave that warmth of the soul (at least that's how I think of it, describing loving people as warm. What comes to mind when you describe somebody as cold or frigid?).
I'm sure this is más o menos correct, because every relationship is unique, but it's generally purported that this "puppy love" phase lasts for about 90 days, 3 months. After that, the passion dies down, and you've gotten to know one another on a more intimate level. Perhaps now you see each other all the time, instead of just seeing them on a date, or once or twice a week, you're getting the "full" experience. Around this time I'm willing to bet most people really know if they work together or not, and I think the whole process in between all of this is so exciting. Though the fire in the heart has died down, so to speak, that doesn't mean the love is gone, or has lessened. I forget the names, but there are three different types of love (for friends, family, spouse, kind of?). The initial attraction love is super passionate, crazy intense and hot, but doesn't last long. What comes after that is a more relaxed, chill companionate love, which is still passionate, but this type of love is much more intimate and binding between the two, and really provides the backbone for the rest of the relationship.
The whole time two people are together, they are building up this foundation. I think the passion helps to get things started, but even then if there just isn't anything there, it'll die quickly. If there really is potential, then perhaps that passion lasts longer, dies more slowly, and reoccurs more often.
But what attracts us to other people? Everybody has different standards of beauty, everybody is attracted to their own particular tastes, but why? What happens to you as a child that makes you prefer brunettes over blondes, or older women over younger? What is it that people look for in somebody that they're interested in (do they spell correctly? Do they think about things and can carry a conversation? Are they capable of having an argument like a mature adult? Do they have the same hobbies and interests?), and what are the deal-breakers for that person, which automatically rule out a candidate? Do people ever really KNOW what they're looking for, or do they just find themselves face to face with somebody who makes them feel a certain kind of way, and you aren't even thinking about any of those things, but are just happy that they are with you?
Why does love, and every other feeling/emotion connected with it make us irrational, silly, stupid? I mean, duh, because it feels good, but I guess what I'm trying to ask is why don't we get the same kind of feelings for things like money, or material possessions (maybe some people do, but fuck those people)? If, as human beings, love really is the most valuable thing, then it is the most hopelessly sad thing in the world to know that we live in societies which have replaced love with money and power. We hurt people every day for things that, in the grand scheme, don't matter, which at the same time damaging individuals emotionally and possibly fucking the world up for future generations (in the sense of deranged parents who abuse kids because they weren't subject to a loving, caring environment).
These are all just questions I'm asking about things that I imagine people just "know" as they grow older, but I'm impatient and curious. I want to be more than just myself, and I feel like finding somebody who really completes you is such an important part in a person's life. I think it's important to, at the same time, step back and realize that this is only one other person in a world full of people, but I'm not completely sure how much distance you can give before they lose interest. I'm still young, though, and I believe when these opportunities present themselves that there is no time like the present to take advantage. Life is for being alive and being passionate, and anybody who can help me achieve that goal as much as possible is somebody that I don't want to waste a second not knowing.
I want to talk about attraction. Not love, or lust, or any of that, but simply the process of being attracted to somebody, and the intricacies involved therein. I'm too lazy to do any real research on this right now, so all of this is just my personal thoughts and musings on the subject. I'm sure I'll come back sometime in the distant future and actually provide some links, but I still remember some things from the psychology books I read on the subject, so I'll just do with that ahora mismo.
I think it's pretty safe to say that heat makes the world go round. The discovery of fire is always provided as a big deal among our ancient ancestors, and the sun is the reason for life at all on the planet as it is. Perhaps one reason love is (and has always been) so unbelievably ingrained in our culture, our society, our lives, is because it is that, metaphorical and literal, fire/heat of the "spirit". The increased heart rate, blood flow, flushed cheeks, whatever biological processes that are responsible for this heating, why? Do we just inherently link warmth and comfort with love, because that's how our bodies feel when we are in love? Nothing drives us as wild as finding somebody who emotionally "sets you on fire". We write songs about it, direct plays and movies, write books, talk incessantly about it, and live our entire lives (maybe) searching for somebody to go through life with.
Though the feeling might be short-lived at times, I think that the initial attraction between two is an important phase in this whole 'relationship story' because it shows that there is potential between two individuals (especially if both people are passionate). I know this is something that happens all the time with young romances, which have a bad rep because these people think they're "omg so in love" when they've never really experienced these intense emotions and feelings before, so they can't adequately judge for themselves how they feel. That being said, I think that's more the fault of inexperience and impatience on the individual's part. Sure, you can say it's love, but I think lust fits better, and not just in that sexual sense (because hot damn that booty), but also in a companion, togetherness sense. Having somebody to simply be there and connect with you on a level that nobody else does, to bring you joy and pleasure and receive your affections, as well. Everybody wants to be loved because, among other things, we crave that warmth of the soul (at least that's how I think of it, describing loving people as warm. What comes to mind when you describe somebody as cold or frigid?).
I'm sure this is más o menos correct, because every relationship is unique, but it's generally purported that this "puppy love" phase lasts for about 90 days, 3 months. After that, the passion dies down, and you've gotten to know one another on a more intimate level. Perhaps now you see each other all the time, instead of just seeing them on a date, or once or twice a week, you're getting the "full" experience. Around this time I'm willing to bet most people really know if they work together or not, and I think the whole process in between all of this is so exciting. Though the fire in the heart has died down, so to speak, that doesn't mean the love is gone, or has lessened. I forget the names, but there are three different types of love (for friends, family, spouse, kind of?). The initial attraction love is super passionate, crazy intense and hot, but doesn't last long. What comes after that is a more relaxed, chill companionate love, which is still passionate, but this type of love is much more intimate and binding between the two, and really provides the backbone for the rest of the relationship.
The whole time two people are together, they are building up this foundation. I think the passion helps to get things started, but even then if there just isn't anything there, it'll die quickly. If there really is potential, then perhaps that passion lasts longer, dies more slowly, and reoccurs more often.
But what attracts us to other people? Everybody has different standards of beauty, everybody is attracted to their own particular tastes, but why? What happens to you as a child that makes you prefer brunettes over blondes, or older women over younger? What is it that people look for in somebody that they're interested in (do they spell correctly? Do they think about things and can carry a conversation? Are they capable of having an argument like a mature adult? Do they have the same hobbies and interests?), and what are the deal-breakers for that person, which automatically rule out a candidate? Do people ever really KNOW what they're looking for, or do they just find themselves face to face with somebody who makes them feel a certain kind of way, and you aren't even thinking about any of those things, but are just happy that they are with you?
Why does love, and every other feeling/emotion connected with it make us irrational, silly, stupid? I mean, duh, because it feels good, but I guess what I'm trying to ask is why don't we get the same kind of feelings for things like money, or material possessions (maybe some people do, but fuck those people)? If, as human beings, love really is the most valuable thing, then it is the most hopelessly sad thing in the world to know that we live in societies which have replaced love with money and power. We hurt people every day for things that, in the grand scheme, don't matter, which at the same time damaging individuals emotionally and possibly fucking the world up for future generations (in the sense of deranged parents who abuse kids because they weren't subject to a loving, caring environment).
These are all just questions I'm asking about things that I imagine people just "know" as they grow older, but I'm impatient and curious. I want to be more than just myself, and I feel like finding somebody who really completes you is such an important part in a person's life. I think it's important to, at the same time, step back and realize that this is only one other person in a world full of people, but I'm not completely sure how much distance you can give before they lose interest. I'm still young, though, and I believe when these opportunities present themselves that there is no time like the present to take advantage. Life is for being alive and being passionate, and anybody who can help me achieve that goal as much as possible is somebody that I don't want to waste a second not knowing.
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