As a quick aside, I would like to point out that every girl is different, and has a different set of
likes/dislikes, so once again communication is the most important part
of any of this. Ask her what she likes and what turns her on so you are
better equipped to please her regardless of how good you are at
whatever.
Now.
A good friend of mine remarked once that "no fingers are ever as good as a cock", but I don't think that means that they're any less important in the overall act of sexytime. I think it's always important to work up to the good stuff, as it helps stimulate, arouse, and ready both partners for the actual penetration.
Biologically, women take a longer time to get aroused (I'm not going to fish out my notes for this but just trust me), and so foreplay isn't just enjoyable for her, it's almost vital if you REALLY want to pleasure her. Kissing and touching is wonderful, along with whatever other kinks people might enjoy (the dirty talk, spanking, undressing each other, etc.), but once the gears start turning what else can you do besides mounting her and commencing with the penetration?
I suppose in the end it all comes down to your self-control and ability to be patient (unless she's begging you, in which case I guess there's nothing else to do but plow the everliving fuck out of her). This is where I think having a basic understanding of how to "finger" really comes in handy (hehe). Even before you get the panties off, just touching around the inner thighs or the lower belly could be arousing for her. tugging at her clothing or fingering her through the panties (especially when in public, hot dog) is always nice, but once you actually get to the good part there's all kinds of things you can do. Note that, being a guy, I don't have any first-hand experience with any of this, so take whatever is written here with a grain of salt. What I discuss is either anecdotal or things that I've learned about in human sexuality classes or from textbooks.
I don't think I even have to talk about the clitoris or how to stimulate that, but just be gentle (unless she likes it really rough, then whatever).
Tthe outer lips have a lot of nerve endings, so playing with those is nice, too (plus it's where most of the lubrication comes from, so getting your fingers slick and moist before playing with her clit is always a really good idea). I don't know how other guys do the actual penetration with the fingers, but I learned very quickly that the "in, out, back, forth" methodology wasn't helpful or pleasurable at all for the ladies. I imagine that's what the penis is for, and that's (hopefully) much thicker and larger, thus better capable of doing the job. With fingers, I think you try and make a hook, bending your fingers upwards (up and down, rather. Think of the motion you do with your fingers, little wave "come here" with your index and middle fingers), rubbing her g-spot (which is about an inch into her pussy, against the uppermost outer wall) and making a soft, short 'yanking' motion, pulling her whole groin with you (but not in a violent, rough manner (once again, unless she likes that), none of this needs to be painful). It should also be noted that the most sensitive portion of a woman's vagina is near the introitus (the vaginal opening), and is the first 1/3 or so of her entire... "length"? Which would help explain why having a long cock is nice, but girth is the most important, and most pleasurable, part for her.
Maybe you find the 'good spot' and she's going crazy while you're strumming away (in which case you stay put for as long as you can manage), but otherwise I think it's a good idea to always change things up. Keep rubbing one spot or going at a certain rhyme for only so long, then go slower, faster, deeper or closer to the front, always listen to her and see what she likes better, then try to work off of that. Rubbing, alternating fingers, just making sure there's a lot of intimate contact and that she's enjoying it.It might be a bit more exhausting, but she will definitely appreciate the extra effort.
Many women are capable of having multiple orgasms, and it should be noted that the first one is the hardest and takes longest to achieve (every one after that comes quicker with her heightened sensitivity after the first time). Consider making her cum once with your fingers for foreplay, and if you're into cunnilingus, maybe making her cum a second time with your tongue AND fingers (massaging the clit with your tongue while fingering her, some women claim that's even better than penis-in-vagina penetration). You haven't even penetrated her yet and already she's orgasmed twice (this would be really helpful for guys who have trouble with stamina or any other issues), and when you do finally get to that, she'll come quicker and easier than had you started out with that in the first place.
ALSO, be sure to keep your fingernails nice/trimmed/short, otherwise this can be super painful and unpleasant for her.
Now, as I've said several times already, most of this is just anecdotal information and shouldn't be taken as fact. Keeping these tips in mind, however, gives you a wider range of tactics, skills, whatever, to use when you're in that position. Switching it up and keeping things new and exciting should be the main goal, everything else is just a different road to the same destination.
Now.
A good friend of mine remarked once that "no fingers are ever as good as a cock", but I don't think that means that they're any less important in the overall act of sexytime. I think it's always important to work up to the good stuff, as it helps stimulate, arouse, and ready both partners for the actual penetration.
Biologically, women take a longer time to get aroused (I'm not going to fish out my notes for this but just trust me), and so foreplay isn't just enjoyable for her, it's almost vital if you REALLY want to pleasure her. Kissing and touching is wonderful, along with whatever other kinks people might enjoy (the dirty talk, spanking, undressing each other, etc.), but once the gears start turning what else can you do besides mounting her and commencing with the penetration?
I suppose in the end it all comes down to your self-control and ability to be patient (unless she's begging you, in which case I guess there's nothing else to do but plow the everliving fuck out of her). This is where I think having a basic understanding of how to "finger" really comes in handy (hehe). Even before you get the panties off, just touching around the inner thighs or the lower belly could be arousing for her. tugging at her clothing or fingering her through the panties (especially when in public, hot dog) is always nice, but once you actually get to the good part there's all kinds of things you can do. Note that, being a guy, I don't have any first-hand experience with any of this, so take whatever is written here with a grain of salt. What I discuss is either anecdotal or things that I've learned about in human sexuality classes or from textbooks.
I don't think I even have to talk about the clitoris or how to stimulate that, but just be gentle (unless she likes it really rough, then whatever).
Tthe outer lips have a lot of nerve endings, so playing with those is nice, too (plus it's where most of the lubrication comes from, so getting your fingers slick and moist before playing with her clit is always a really good idea). I don't know how other guys do the actual penetration with the fingers, but I learned very quickly that the "in, out, back, forth" methodology wasn't helpful or pleasurable at all for the ladies. I imagine that's what the penis is for, and that's (hopefully) much thicker and larger, thus better capable of doing the job. With fingers, I think you try and make a hook, bending your fingers upwards (up and down, rather. Think of the motion you do with your fingers, little wave "come here" with your index and middle fingers), rubbing her g-spot (which is about an inch into her pussy, against the uppermost outer wall) and making a soft, short 'yanking' motion, pulling her whole groin with you (but not in a violent, rough manner (once again, unless she likes that), none of this needs to be painful). It should also be noted that the most sensitive portion of a woman's vagina is near the introitus (the vaginal opening), and is the first 1/3 or so of her entire... "length"? Which would help explain why having a long cock is nice, but girth is the most important, and most pleasurable, part for her.
Maybe you find the 'good spot' and she's going crazy while you're strumming away (in which case you stay put for as long as you can manage), but otherwise I think it's a good idea to always change things up. Keep rubbing one spot or going at a certain rhyme for only so long, then go slower, faster, deeper or closer to the front, always listen to her and see what she likes better, then try to work off of that. Rubbing, alternating fingers, just making sure there's a lot of intimate contact and that she's enjoying it.It might be a bit more exhausting, but she will definitely appreciate the extra effort.
Many women are capable of having multiple orgasms, and it should be noted that the first one is the hardest and takes longest to achieve (every one after that comes quicker with her heightened sensitivity after the first time). Consider making her cum once with your fingers for foreplay, and if you're into cunnilingus, maybe making her cum a second time with your tongue AND fingers (massaging the clit with your tongue while fingering her, some women claim that's even better than penis-in-vagina penetration). You haven't even penetrated her yet and already she's orgasmed twice (this would be really helpful for guys who have trouble with stamina or any other issues), and when you do finally get to that, she'll come quicker and easier than had you started out with that in the first place.
ALSO, be sure to keep your fingernails nice/trimmed/short, otherwise this can be super painful and unpleasant for her.
Now, as I've said several times already, most of this is just anecdotal information and shouldn't be taken as fact. Keeping these tips in mind, however, gives you a wider range of tactics, skills, whatever, to use when you're in that position. Switching it up and keeping things new and exciting should be the main goal, everything else is just a different road to the same destination.
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